A rose by any other name is still as sweet…yeah
I don’t buy it. For as long as I can remember I never liked my name, I
blame it on the fact I was not named for almost a week, believe it or not I was difficult from the beginning I nearly killed both my mother and myself.
Then as a child I proudly declared that I was going to change my name to
Zipporah, to which my father replied since I am named after him he would have
to change his name to Zippy. I still think this plan would work…Zippy has
a nice ring to it.
So on twitter the past couple of weeks a couple of people I
follow have been examining Hebrew names, for those of you who don’t know we
have a first name, a middle name, a last name and sometimes a Hebrew name, excessive I know. It can be that your
first or middle name is also your Hebrew name…it is a bit confusing but I have
a point here.
Zahara is my Hebrew name, Lauren my legal name. But what
does that mean? Is it simply some sort of quarter life crisis …no. When I moved
to Israel partly because their chronic mispronunciation
of Lauren, I went solely by Zahara, or Zaza for short. Here is where the
important part of the story is, as Zahara I feel creative, curious and more the
person I want to be. As Lauren I feel older, cautious and worrisome. I don’t have multiple personalities, even
though I am sure this sounds a bit crazy! I swear this isn’t like All About
Eve!
But why is the idea of actually or legally changing our name
so scary to us? Will we forget who we
are? Jacob became Israel, married women take their husbands last night,
sometimes hyphenating it, cause hyphens
are sexy. As a way to shed the past or create a new future. Changing names
is not only for mobsters hiding out in suburbia. So Hebrew name, middle name,
name from a book or tv, who are you? Who would you be with a different name? Who
do you want to be? I might always be Lauren on paper, but I will always be Zahara
in my heart, or until 2012 when my
passport expires and who knows I might make it legal..
I’ve never really wanted to change my name. Feeling stuck with my name is not something I can say I can relate to. I really like the name Joel. I feel as though I’m still trying to figure out who “Joel” really is… I am learning, expanding my experiences and walking into my future at full speed, not yet running. I’m trying to fill the shoes of the Joel I know I want to be, but am not yet.
I have known you Laurie (Zahara) for a few years. I see you growing as a person and take it that changing your name was part of that. Although, I do believe anything is possible and you still might wake up as a taller person one day.
Keep exploring, testing, living life as much as possible. I’m proud to call you a friend.