A novel idea.. With doubts

I have loved this blog, it was my voice while I was in Israel, partly because I was too cheap to buy a cellphone
while there. But now here in Indiana, where is my voice? This has been the question and not simply in the sense ok now what do I write about? Indiana is not that interesting, even if you have never been here before, clearly working for the tourism board is not in my future. Yet, I miss writing this blog, or maybe I merely miss the adventures this blog was about , all the incredible newness. So if anyone working from National Geographic is reading this, give me something new to write about!

Yet, I have not given up on my writing. Instead I am working on my first novel. It is coming along well but it turning out to be a lot more work than I thought. And I have hit a patch where I am struggling greatly, for a couple of reasons. I love people, and my characters are great but the world around them is in a bit of a fog. I can see it in my head therefore have trouble remembering that someone reading it cannot see it. The other perhaps much larger issue is what is the point? Yesterday this blog had ONE reader. One person stumbled upon this blog. Now the goal is to self publish my book, therefore it is not going to be free. I have serious doubts that I am working super hard on a novel that no one will read let alone buy. I am sure that these aren’t new fears for anyone who writes. But the question is how do you overcome them? DO you create for the sake of creating? Because while fame and fortune would be nice, I feel like it is more important to me simply to be heard, my work to be read and shared. And I am honestly afraid that is not going to happen.

I once said that only the truly fortunate people in this life get to make a living by doing what they love. And right now I am not feeling like one of the fortunate. So I question to myself and to perhaps the one person reading this today, is it better to do what you love if nothing ever comes of it or is that merely a form of self torture?

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